The preteen years, often referred to as the "tween" years, are a time of significant growth and change. As children transition from childhood to adolescence, they begin to seek more independence and develop their own identities. While these changes are natural and necessary, they can sometimes create distance between parents and their preteens. However, this period also presents a valuable opportunity to strengthen your bond and build a deeper connection with your child. 

Here’s how you can foster a strong relationship with your preteen during these formative years.

Make Time for One-on-One Activities

Another way of ensuring that you are in harmony with your preteen is to take personal time with your child/ward. Interacting with your child in activities that he or she likes proves to the child that his or her interests matter and also foster good bonding moments with him or her.

Discover Shared Interests

This means that, identify things that you and the preteen both like, maybe cooking, sports, movies, games or any other activities. These interests, it should be seen, are potential areas of common pursuit that give rise to substantive discussions.

Create Special Rituals

Develop a tradition to which both of you will adhere to, for example, spend time weekly watching a movie or go out at least once a month. Such behaviours form structure and having a structure also means having something to anticipate to look forward to, for both of you.

Be Present

The idea is that, during a couple of times you need to be engaged completely. Reach into the pocket and throw away your phone and concentrate on your preteen. This undivided attention also enhances the relationship factor since it portrays that you are an important aspect of their life.

Encourage Open Communication

It is very important to have an open and honest relationship with your child and especially when they are young and transitioning. Whenever they start experiencing things such as complex social relationships, it is critical that the child feel free to share with you whatever that is happening.

Listen Without Judgment

If you want your preteen to open up and share information with you then you should listen actively and without prejudice. Don’t interrupt, or solve the problem straight away. Other times they just need someone to be there to maybe just listen to them and maybe understand their situation a little more.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Help your preteen speak more by asking questions such as “What was the highlight of your day?” or “How did that make you feel?” Such kinds of questions allow the child to speak more.

Be a Safe Space

Help your preteen understand that it’s possible to discuss anything with you, even If it’s not very important. Remind the participants that there are no repercussions for being frank thus ensuring that everyone is comfortable to share their ideas.

Respect Their Growing Independence

During your child’s pre-adolescent stage, you will begin to notice that your child wants more freedom. Being engaged in the life of the grown up child is important in order to remain close to him or her, but at the same time, it is important to allow this child to gain more and more independence.

Give Them Space

Permission to give your preteen his or her alone time and freedom to do what he or she loves to do alone or with peers. When you respect their privacy and personal decision making abilities it’s clear that you have faith in their capability of making the right decisions.

Support Their Interests

Allow your preteen child to try out new activities and ideas in his or her free time, even if they seem uninteresting to you. Engage with genuine interest and attend to their passions for example by asking about the said activities, attending events that they would prefer or even taking time to study what they consider as activities.

Involve Them in Decisions

Give your preteen a say whenever you as a family make decisions, majorly those which include the child. This could involve deciding on outings to take with the kids, deciding on chores to assign to the kids or even forms of discipline to apply with the kids. That is why the participation of each of them makes them understand that they are valued and respected.

Show Affection and Support

On the same note, preteens desire to be independent, but they still require to feel that they are protected, appreciated and accepted. Men and women need to show affection and be available when things are not going well so as to foster the relationship.

Express Love and Appreciation

Ensure that you often tell your preteen how much you love them and appreciate them; this can be through words of affection, body gestures like hugging or through gentle touches. In a way, positive feedback and appreciation help make them feel safe and wanted in their workplace.

Be Their Cheerleader

Encourage your preteen in whatever they want to do, whether it is a school project, sports event or an artistic effort. Praising them regardless of how big or small their success is helps them grow in confidence as well as bond with you.

Offer Guidance, Not Control

Bear in mind that when your preteen has problems he or she has to face, do not attempt to dominate the events. It is fine with them to try and fail and the parents should ensure that they let them through this providing all the help if required.

For friendly and warm correspondence with your child during the tween age, you have to make alterations in your interaction compared to when she was younger but this has to be done as it forms the basis of a healthy maturing relationship. Understanding and being on good terms with your children will go a long way in shaping them for their teenage and adulthood years hence time spent together should come standard. We must remind ourselves of the fact that the groundwork created in these formative years will create confidence, healthy self- esteem and emotions of love in the pre-teen.